I don’t know why but I’m always somewhat stressed when doing cell culture stuff. Like, I’m afraid to hurt the cells.
Also, I talk to the cells. Call them ‘my pretties’. Put them to sleep in the incubator, double checking that it’s closed properly and they have enough CO2 and it’s warm enough.
Gosh, I get so attached to my cell cultures. I wouldn’t be able to handle an actual pet, it’d be too intense.
P.S. Sigh, I so need to start thinking about these posts before Sunday rolls around.
I’ve been feeling out of phase this week, you know, like a bunch of coherent waves, erm, losing the coherence, if that makes sense, sort of just bouncing and feeling uncomfortably pulled back and forth. I’ve been trying to be more productive and learn new things and stuff over the last few weeks and to that end, in addition to my own work, I’ve started helping out with some other stuff at the lab. This resulted in quite lot of dashing about and, while the new work is fun, I feel like I don’t actually accomplish that much more, maybe even less somehow.
I feel like I either need to plan my time for each project better or give up the extra project. It is fun, though, it’s so relaxing to sometimes just follow instructions instead of doing all the thinking. All the thinking is a lot of fun also though.
I feel very complicated right now,
A short one to hopefully get back into action
Oops. I was determined to post every week, wasn’t I? But things happened, as they tend to do. And to be perfectly honest, my anxieties and seasonal affective disorder or something got the better of me this time. My thoughts were all a-jumble and just wouldn’t cooperate with being put down. Things are looking up, though, in more than one regard, so here I am.
During this time, I’ve been sort of rethinking doing this PhD thing. Maybe even entertaining a notion of moving back home. I mean, as much as I enjoy Sweden and this university, perhaps it’s not worth all the anxieties and stress – and I haven’t even started the actual PhD yet! Especially, since some place along the road I suddenly realised that an academic career might not be my ultimate dream any more. The more I learn about it, the more aspects of it reveal themselves that seem quite unappealing (or worse). Of course, it’s pretty much impossible to find a job which would be all rainbows and unicorns, but at some point the negative might outweigh the positive, and you start wondering why you dreamt about it in the first place.
But despite all this, I still want to do the PhD. I figure, there are other jobs/careers where you can do science-y things of different sorts and having a PhD comes in handy. Besides, I do love doing science and I want to help humanity’s progress, however small my contribution may be. So, I think, it’s reason enough to do it. I can figure the next step out later. And who knows, I might yet change my mind about sticking with academia, I mean, it is sort of nice here, after all.
But meanwhile, I also need to investigate what lies outside the ivory tower,